A Moment of Success

Matthew is a fun loving, talk your ear off, energetic, intelligent, caring, sensitive, creative, respectful, friendly kid.  He has so many characteristics that I pray will continue to mature and grow.  One day, he's going to change the world.  If only we can get through today... and next week... and the next few years.

ADD or ADHD is a diagnoses that has been misused, overused, and abused.  If we sent Matthew to a traditional school, I am 85% sure he would be labeled with the disorder.  He forgets a lot.  His thoughts, ideas, and plans sometimes come so fast that my head spins.  He often can't control his energy.  He has a difficult time in adult oriented situations and ends up acting out.  His self-regulation skills are taking longer than average to develop. 

But, he doesn't go to a traditional school.

He is homeschooled and more specifically, unschooled.

 

He is given time, space and resources to help him learn. Not just the academics, but the skills that are harder to learn in a classroom setting.  Skills that this mom believes are just as important (if not more so) for future success.

Self-regulation

Planning

Following through with plans

Self-Control

Compassion

Empathy

How to get along with people of various ages

How to budget money

Time Management

Making choices


Before I returned to work in May, we would go for family walks.  Matthew would typically ride his bike and his father and I would have to constantly remind him that he could only go so far ahead of us.  We would call out to him, yell to stop, scream to stop.  This typically ended with the consequence of him having to walk his bike with us.  It was almost as if Matthew was in his own world and was incapable of following the safety rules we had set up for him in our world.  Never was he disrespectful.  When we talked, he would regret making us nervous, breaking the rules and promise to remember.  Until 5 minutes later when he forgot again.

I was frustrated.

My husband was frustrated.

Matthew was frustrated.

Two and a half months have passed.  My work schedule has been crazy long and family time has been scarce.

Today I told the boys that we were going to have a home day and asked them what they would like to do.  Matthew suggested taking a walk to the park which is a little over a mile from our house.  Liam loved this suggestion because it meant we would be passing the train tracks.

We got ready, packed snacks and drinks and began our Saturday morning adventure.

I took a stroller so Liam could rest when he got tired and Matthew put on his helmet and rode his bike.

When Matthew started getting too far, I called out to him to stop and wait or turn around and come back.  I called out his name again and he rode back, asking me what I wanted.  I told him that when I called his name, he needed to stop and wait or turn around and come back.  Okay, he said.

The next time he began to get far, I called his name.  He turned around and came back.

When he got too far, I called his name again.  He stopped and waited for us to catch up.

This is how the entire walk went.

I did not have to scream his name.  I simply called it out. 

Every time, he followed my directions and either waited or turned back.

I don't know if all our walks will go this well, or if it was a freak occurrence.

Freak occurrence or not, it happened today and it shows me that with a little time, a lot of patience and an abundance of love, we can succeed.