If only my children slept in a little later, I would be able to get into the habit of reading my bible.
If only I wasn't working full time, I would have more time to read.
If only we had our finances in order, I would be happier.
If only I went to bed earlier, I would be able to get up earlier and get more done.
If only I had our house more organized, I wouldn't have to spend so much time cleaning.
If only I didn't (fill in this blank with just about anything), then I could read more books.
If only things were different, I would be able to enjoy life to the fullest.
The "if only's" consumed my life.
They dictated my decisions.
My journey was controlled by them.
I didn't even realize it.
Something changed. I'm not sure what the variation was, but I hear the "if only" whisper to me and I don't let them tell me what to do.
I no longer allow not being able to do it the perfect way, or at the perfect time, to STOP ME FROM DOING IT AT ALL.
I get the extra hour of sleep, and exercise at 10:30 in the morning. Or 4:00 in the afternoon. Or, 9:00 at night.
I read my bible while my children are awake. Sometimes it's first thing in the morning and sometimes it's right before I go to bed.
I exercise three times a week. Four times a week. Sometimes, two times a week.
I lowered my standards for a perfect, ready for a magazine shoot ready home. There are spots where clutter has taken over. There is dirt on the floor from the kids... and the dog. Guess what, we live here. Not just for show. It's for the messy, loving, music making, silly jokes, project starting (hopefully completing), baking, playing, cleaning, stepping over that toy on the floor, LIVE here kind of life.
I won't be happier with more money. We have all the money we need right now, and I will keep trying. Spending, saving, giving, paying, sacrificing, splurging, and throwing the whole spreadsheet out the window to start from scratch.
I go to bed when I need to. I know I need about 8 hours of sleep per night, and on average, that's what I get. I go to sleep when I need to, and I get up when I need to. No need to over-complicate my life.
I found ways to read more books. The Overdrive App and listening to audio-books I've checked out from the library with this app has changed my life. I listen to them as I get ready, as I clean, as I make dinner, as I drive, and as I exercise. Yet, I still love to feel the weight of the book in my hand. The smell of the paper. The action of turning the crisp pages, makes my heart sing. So, I read. I consume books from the library like I have never done before. I read while my kids are watching a show. I read while they're in the tub. I read while they play outside, at the playground, or with each other. I read until my eyes get so heavy, I can't keep them open. Then, I turn on my audiobook, set the timer, and wait to fall asleep.
I didn't even realize it.
Something changed. I'm not sure what the variation was, but I hear the "if only" whisper to me and I don't let them tell me what to do.
I no longer allow not being able to do it the perfect way, or at the perfect time, to STOP ME FROM DOING IT AT ALL.
I get the extra hour of sleep, and exercise at 10:30 in the morning. Or 4:00 in the afternoon. Or, 9:00 at night.
I read my bible while my children are awake. Sometimes it's first thing in the morning and sometimes it's right before I go to bed.
I exercise three times a week. Four times a week. Sometimes, two times a week.
I lowered my standards for a perfect, ready for a magazine shoot ready home. There are spots where clutter has taken over. There is dirt on the floor from the kids... and the dog. Guess what, we live here. Not just for show. It's for the messy, loving, music making, silly jokes, project starting (hopefully completing), baking, playing, cleaning, stepping over that toy on the floor, LIVE here kind of life.
I won't be happier with more money. We have all the money we need right now, and I will keep trying. Spending, saving, giving, paying, sacrificing, splurging, and throwing the whole spreadsheet out the window to start from scratch.
I go to bed when I need to. I know I need about 8 hours of sleep per night, and on average, that's what I get. I go to sleep when I need to, and I get up when I need to. No need to over-complicate my life.
I found ways to read more books. The Overdrive App and listening to audio-books I've checked out from the library with this app has changed my life. I listen to them as I get ready, as I clean, as I make dinner, as I drive, and as I exercise. Yet, I still love to feel the weight of the book in my hand. The smell of the paper. The action of turning the crisp pages, makes my heart sing. So, I read. I consume books from the library like I have never done before. I read while my kids are watching a show. I read while they're in the tub. I read while they play outside, at the playground, or with each other. I read until my eyes get so heavy, I can't keep them open. Then, I turn on my audiobook, set the timer, and wait to fall asleep.
I have a long, long way to go. There is so much more to learn, explore, experience, and enjoy.
Today I will not wait for things to come in line. I won't even give the expert's advice a second thought.
The "if only's" belong in the past. The "going to's" are the present, and the "I have's" are my future.
