I see everyone's homes all decked out for Christmas and I'm lucky we even got our Christmas Tree up. If it weren't for the boys, I may have skipped it this year. I feel a deeper understanding of the true meaning of Christmas this year but am having a hard time getting into all of the traditions.
When I tried to figure out what was bothering me, I came up with many answers.
Missing my mom who died 5 years ago could be why. She celebrated Christmas with the best of them and traditions were her thing. You didn't mess with the traditions.
The death of our first born son, William, is next month. Although it is only December, the weather sure feels like January.
Uncertainty with future income, future housing, and the weight of future choices have sent my head into a tail spin. Any one of these things could be the reason, or it could be a combination of it all.
Plus, I get mad at myself because my life is great. Feeling depressed almost feels like a spirit of ungratefulness for everything I do have.
God has given me a loving husband, a great marriage, two healthy and energetic boys, a warm, safe and beautiful home to live in, jobs that help pay the bills, and family and friends to spend time with.
So, it's something I'm working through...
My Weekly Goals For December 16, 2013
-Christmas List for Gifts for the Boys
-Christmas Shopping
-Letter to Santa
-Visit Santa (for the kids, not me!)
-Make Christmas Gifts for Grandparents
- Complete daily tasks to keep up with housework
-Research a yummy garlic bread recipe
-Make Granola Bars
-Make Chocolate Syrup
Many people often struggle during the holidays. I didn't understand this when I was younger but I certainly do now. It might just be God's way of showing me how others need compassion, a friendly smile, a listening ear, or a helpful prayer.
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