Sitting in a Parking Space

I felt like I had done everything I could possibly do to help my son, Liam, with his frustration.  He's two.  If you have ever seen, cared for, or parented a two year old, you understand.  He'll be happy one minute and then you'll hear him screaming and crying (like you ripped his arm out of his socket) the next.  I have given him time to transition.  I have sung fun songs to help him transition.  We've tried yoga breathing, hugs, distraction, positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, etc.  If it's been put in a book, on a blog or said by another person, I have tried it.  It's been six months of the terrible twos.
 
After scheduling a parent/teacher/therapist conference with myself, I realized that I was reaching my breaking point.  Out of sheer frustration and emotional exhaustion, I had started scolding and yelling.  (Not saying that's okay, just being honest.)  I had even tried ignoring it. He only gets louder and more hysterical.  During the "conference", I told myself that since ignoring the behavior only made it increase, it was probably not only for attention.  Scolding and yelling only reinforced the behavior and made me feel terrible, and the other stuff only helped if he was calm enough to hear me and could calm himself down.  Time for a new plan of action.  A plan that I could follow through with 99% of the time.

TIME OUT

This is not your every day version of time out.  This is new and improved!  For Liam, it seems to be highly effective.  (This is not based on a longitudinal study, only the past 4 days.  I have hope. So far, it is the only thing that has worked every time.)  When he begins to scream, yell, hit, bite, kick, or just generally loose control of himself, we sit.  Not just him, both of us.  I sit across from him and tell him that as soon as he has calmed down, we can talk and he can get up.  He usually sits for about 30 seconds until I see a complete transformation.  He looks at me, smiles and says "I all done."  Then I briefly tell him what he did and what he needs to do instead.  For example "Liam, you were screaming at mommy.  In our family, we use our kind voice."  Then we go on our merry way.

So, I said I needed something I could use 99% of the time, right?  I have pulled off the highway, I have stopped my shower, and I have interrupted time in the kiddie pool to follow through.  Today, he started to lose control as we left the bowling alley.  I dropped my bags and we sat down in a parking space until he was done.  By the way, the parking lot was dead and we had been the only three people in the entire bowling alley.

I may just make it through the next 6 months.  I won't be winning any mother of the year award, but I'll make it.  Here's hoping three will be better...