Here's a list of my goals from last week:
1) Go to bed each night with a clean kitchen. Check
2) Do one load of laundry each day. From start to finish, which means folding and putting away. Sort of Check
3) Plan with Matthew his birthday party with his friends. Check
4) Make the invitations. Partial Check
5) Change the picture display in the dining room. (It still has SNOW and winter pictures on it.) I'm going to pretend it's still winter. Not so easy to do in 80 degree weather but I have a GREAT imagination.
6) Finish reading "My So Called Life As A Proverbs 31 Wife." Check
Here's a List of Goals for this Week:
1) Have my husband help me clean the kitchen each night. If I spend my evening with the boys and do most of the bed time routines, he gets to clean the kitchen.
2) Do one load of laundry every day.
3) Make the birthday party invitations.
4) Get up 30 minutes earlier than usual. This leaves time to do my devotion and makes leaving more relaxed. If you can picture a chicken with it's head cut off, running around and terribly grumpy, you have gotten a glimpse of my mornings.
5) Get Liam up 30 minutes before we have to leave in the morning so he has an easier time transitioning. (I did this today and we had a temper tantrum free morning.)
6) Read 3 Chapters of "The Ministry of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Saturday, June 8, 2013
A Woman Who Fears the Lord #2
The Woman Who Fears the Lord
A Study of Proverbs 31
Verse 11
"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain."
The first part of this verse seems pretty straight forward to me. The husband in the verse has an awesome wife. She is reliable and he has total confidence in her. He's got it made.
When I think of marriage and trust within that relationship, the first thing that comes to mind is being faithful. My husband has has my heart, mind and body. It is for him alone.
At our wedding, my husband and I said the traditional vows. It included "in sickness and health" and "'til death do us part." If my husband is going to completely trust me, I have to take those seriously. This is not easily done and requires much work. On both our parts, but we're only going to talk about mine.
At our wedding, my husband and I said the traditional vows. It included "in sickness and health" and "'til death do us part." If my husband is going to completely trust me, I have to take those seriously. This is not easily done and requires much work. On both our parts, but we're only going to talk about mine.
I feel like my husband and I had a challenging first nine years of marriage. There was a lot of death on both sides of our family; his father, grandparents, uncles and aunts, my mother and our first born son, William. Mix that with my high ideals of what marriage should be, my husband's battle with severe depression and unwise financial choices.
I was not a strong Proverbs 31 wife...
Fast forward to our 12th year of marriage. We are the best of friends, can (mostly) discuss things without ending up not speaking to each other for weeks, he's better at managing his depression and I know how to give him what he needs without letting the depression take over. We have two healthy and active boys and the best part, we know our love for each other is strong. If I were asked if my husband trusts me with all his heart, I would say yes.
Which leaves us with the second part of the verse, "he will lack no gain."
I don't think we're talking about material things here. It's not like God is saying that if a man is blessed enough to have a Proverbs 31 wife, he'll have a great job, always have the money they need or want, he'll drive awesome cars and they'll live in a gorgeous home. Nope. I really don't think that is what God feels is important.
God looks into our inner most being. Our spirit. It's what connects us to Him and what we will have for all eternity. The Proverbs 31 wife will help her husband's spiritual life. Depending on what the needs are, she will meet them.
For my husband, at this point in his life, this means a lot of prayer and little to no "suggestions" from me. It builds my own character as I pray about and wait for the things I see he needs, the ideas I believe will help him, and the areas which only God knows about. If my husband will lack no gain, I must spend less time talking and more time in prayer.
Over the last year, I've been working on praying more (and nagging less). I asked my husband back in November if we could start attending Wednesday night Bible studies. I felt like it was important for us to go as a family. He said and I quote, "I'll think about it." So, I prayed. My prayer was that if it was something that God wanted us to do, He would change my husband's heart. If not, I prayed that he would change mine. I asked one more time in December and got the same answer. As we pulled out of the church parking lot on a wintery January morning, my husband said "Pastor Tim is teaching a class on Wednesday's about American History and how it relates to the bible. I'd like to go." All I said was, "Okay."
Prayer... it's changing us both.
I was not a strong Proverbs 31 wife...
Fast forward to our 12th year of marriage. We are the best of friends, can (mostly) discuss things without ending up not speaking to each other for weeks, he's better at managing his depression and I know how to give him what he needs without letting the depression take over. We have two healthy and active boys and the best part, we know our love for each other is strong. If I were asked if my husband trusts me with all his heart, I would say yes.
Which leaves us with the second part of the verse, "he will lack no gain."
I don't think we're talking about material things here. It's not like God is saying that if a man is blessed enough to have a Proverbs 31 wife, he'll have a great job, always have the money they need or want, he'll drive awesome cars and they'll live in a gorgeous home. Nope. I really don't think that is what God feels is important.
God looks into our inner most being. Our spirit. It's what connects us to Him and what we will have for all eternity. The Proverbs 31 wife will help her husband's spiritual life. Depending on what the needs are, she will meet them.
For my husband, at this point in his life, this means a lot of prayer and little to no "suggestions" from me. It builds my own character as I pray about and wait for the things I see he needs, the ideas I believe will help him, and the areas which only God knows about. If my husband will lack no gain, I must spend less time talking and more time in prayer.
Over the last year, I've been working on praying more (and nagging less). I asked my husband back in November if we could start attending Wednesday night Bible studies. I felt like it was important for us to go as a family. He said and I quote, "I'll think about it." So, I prayed. My prayer was that if it was something that God wanted us to do, He would change my husband's heart. If not, I prayed that he would change mine. I asked one more time in December and got the same answer. As we pulled out of the church parking lot on a wintery January morning, my husband said "Pastor Tim is teaching a class on Wednesday's about American History and how it relates to the bible. I'd like to go." All I said was, "Okay."
Prayer... it's changing us both.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
A Woman Who Fears the Lord #1
Studying the Bible has never been something I was strong at. I've tried and tried and tried but it often felt like Greek to me. Or, should I say Hebrew. Either way, I find myself reading the words but unable to really understand it. I'm ever so slowly beginning to change...
The Woman Who Fears the Lord
A Study of Proverbs 31
Verse 10
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels."
Who determines that a woman is an excellent wife? My first thought would be the husband but I find that discouraging. I don't know if my own husband ever thinks that way. He loves me and I'm sure he appreciates me, in his own way.
The only One who can truly know if a wife is excellent would be God. He knows our inner thoughts and desires. He understands how hard we try and He sees our past, present and future
This wife is of high cost or worth; valuable. She is highly esteemed; cherished, dear and beloved. She is treasured or
esteemed.
Writing this makes me feel a little overwhelmed. Okay, really overwhelmed. I don't feel like I am all those things.
What does God think?
A jewel takes time to develop. Consider the diamond. It is a jewel and it develops under heat and pressure. That kind of describes the experiences of a wife. Heat... Pressure...
God is using my life, with all it's heat and pressure, to develop me into the wife He wants me to be. The wife He knows my husband needs. An excellent wife who is cherished and treasured.
The definitions for precious and jewels were found on http://www.answers.com.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Zombies versus Parents
For family game night, we played Clue. This sparked Matthew's imagination and he came up with a plan to have family game night outside with each of us playing the characters. As he described his elaborate plans, I began to feel light headed. I asked him to slow down because my brain couldn't keep up with his. Disappointed, he replied that he could make all the plans he wanted in the game "Minecraft." I said "Yes. You don't have to worry about grown ups, or jobs, or money, or time, or weather. Well, you do have to worry a little about weather and zombies. You have to worry about Zombies."
I think he would rather worry about zombies than parents.
Book Review: "My So-Called Life As A Proverbs 31 Wife"
What happens when a spirited woman challenges herself to become a domestic diva? Laugh out loud humor, that's what. For the women who have Proverbs 31 down pat, no need to read this book. For the rest of us who struggle, this book is a must read.
The author is Sara Horn. She spent a year on this Proverbs 31 project and the book is about how she tries to help her husband, strengthen her marriage, be patient, cook, clean, organize, decorate, work from home, sell a house, move, work a full time job, and be a single parent while her husband is deployed or in training. Sara takes Proverbs 31 and makes it understandable and attainable for woman today.
Here's what impacted me most about this book. No person can tell you how to be a Proverbs 31 wife. My journey with my strengths and weaknesses is going to be different from yours. God is going to help you become the wife He wants you to be and Proverbs 31 is a great guide.
On a side note: My mom was a stay at home mom for my entire life. She and my father felt very strongly about how she needed to be in the home and not working a job. Sometimes that got communicated as the only way, the best way, God's way. Right now in my life, I need to work. It's helping my husband and I meet goals that are healthy for our family and fix some past mistakes. I have a great job and am blessed to only have to work 5 1/2 months out of the year. Yet, I struggle emotionally with it every single day. Even during my off season. When Sara faces the challenge of leaving her work from home job to a full time job outside of the home, she takes it head on. (That's just the kind of person I think she is.) It's not easy, but it's what her family needs.
There are at least 7 verses in Proverbs 31 that relate to business. The woman in Proverbs 31 does what it takes to help provide for her family. I can and will learn from this. I will do what my family needs and continue to seek after God's will.
Thank you, Sara. You strengthened what I already knew, helped me feel more confident and shed light on areas that were previously dark.
(Sara has a new book coming out in August 2013. It's called "My So-Called Life As A Submissive Wife.")
You can find Sara on Facebook under her name, Sara Horn.
My Proverbs 31 Life Blog-
http://www.myproverbs31life.com/
Sara's Blog-
http://www.sarahorn.com/
A video where Sara describes this book-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yU-LLdzUg-Y
The book is available to purchase on Amazon-
http://www.amazon.com/So-Called-Life-Proverbs-Wife-ebook/dp/B005EI8244/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370453199&sr=8-1&keywords=my+so+called+life+as+a+proverbs+31+wife
Here is a link to the book review that I did on Sara's next book--
http://seekhispurpose.blogspot.com/2013/08/book-review-my-so-called-life-as.html
The author is Sara Horn. She spent a year on this Proverbs 31 project and the book is about how she tries to help her husband, strengthen her marriage, be patient, cook, clean, organize, decorate, work from home, sell a house, move, work a full time job, and be a single parent while her husband is deployed or in training. Sara takes Proverbs 31 and makes it understandable and attainable for woman today.
Here's what impacted me most about this book. No person can tell you how to be a Proverbs 31 wife. My journey with my strengths and weaknesses is going to be different from yours. God is going to help you become the wife He wants you to be and Proverbs 31 is a great guide.
On a side note: My mom was a stay at home mom for my entire life. She and my father felt very strongly about how she needed to be in the home and not working a job. Sometimes that got communicated as the only way, the best way, God's way. Right now in my life, I need to work. It's helping my husband and I meet goals that are healthy for our family and fix some past mistakes. I have a great job and am blessed to only have to work 5 1/2 months out of the year. Yet, I struggle emotionally with it every single day. Even during my off season. When Sara faces the challenge of leaving her work from home job to a full time job outside of the home, she takes it head on. (That's just the kind of person I think she is.) It's not easy, but it's what her family needs.
There are at least 7 verses in Proverbs 31 that relate to business. The woman in Proverbs 31 does what it takes to help provide for her family. I can and will learn from this. I will do what my family needs and continue to seek after God's will.
Thank you, Sara. You strengthened what I already knew, helped me feel more confident and shed light on areas that were previously dark.
(Sara has a new book coming out in August 2013. It's called "My So-Called Life As A Submissive Wife.")
You can find Sara on Facebook under her name, Sara Horn.
My Proverbs 31 Life Blog-
http://www.myproverbs31life.com/
Sara's Blog-
http://www.sarahorn.com/
A video where Sara describes this book-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yU-LLdzUg-Y
The book is available to purchase on Amazon-
http://www.amazon.com/So-Called-Life-Proverbs-Wife-ebook/dp/B005EI8244/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370453199&sr=8-1&keywords=my+so+called+life+as+a+proverbs+31+wife
Here is a link to the book review that I did on Sara's next book--
http://seekhispurpose.blogspot.com/2013/08/book-review-my-so-called-life-as.html
Surviving to Thriving
A couple of weekends ago, my family went to meet with some relatives from my husband's side. While speaking to his cousin, Jennifer, she recommended the book "Year of Biblical Womanhood" by Rachel Held Evans. I find myself easily distracted so I asked if she could message me the book title, because I knew I would forget. And, I did. I couldn't wait for her to get me the title and so that night I thumbed through the Amazon booklist on my kindle, searching for the book. If I came across the title, surely I would remember it. During my search I came across the book "My So-Called Life As A Proverbs 31 Wife" by Sara Horn. Reading over the description, the fact that she had to leave her domestic diva project to take on a full time job, peaked my interest. It's very similar to how I feel in this season of my life. Not the domestic diva part... the going to work a full time job part. I wondered how working outside the home, away from everything I consider to be my most important job in life, could relate to the woman from Proverbs 31. A few minutes later, the book was a part of my teeny tiny kindle library.
I haven't been able to get into a book for a while now. Besides reading my bible and skimming through some home schooling books, I just can't seem to stay on task when it comes to reading. This book was a great read and I finished it in a week.
The two previous seasons that I have worked full time, left me feeling like I barely survived. Trying to manage household responsibilities and two children was about all I could handle. I'm sad to say that my husband and our marriage got the short end of the stick. I want this season of work to be different. I want to finish the season knowing that I took steps towards being the woman that God desires me to be. I want to live intentionally, to step away from barely surviving to thriving and loving EVERY aspect of the life I've been given.
I haven't been able to get into a book for a while now. Besides reading my bible and skimming through some home schooling books, I just can't seem to stay on task when it comes to reading. This book was a great read and I finished it in a week.
The two previous seasons that I have worked full time, left me feeling like I barely survived. Trying to manage household responsibilities and two children was about all I could handle. I'm sad to say that my husband and our marriage got the short end of the stick. I want this season of work to be different. I want to finish the season knowing that I took steps towards being the woman that God desires me to be. I want to live intentionally, to step away from barely surviving to thriving and loving EVERY aspect of the life I've been given.
Monday, June 3, 2013
"Little House On the Prairie"
Making goals usually helps me to feel like I am accomplishing things. It doesn't really matter if I would have done them anyway, somehow putting it down on paper and crossing it off helps. Yes, I have done something that was not on the list, added it to the list and then crossed it off. It's my paper and I can.
Not wanting to overwhelm myself while I am still adjusting to working a full time job, I'm going to start small. Here are my goals for this week:
1) Go to bed each night with a clean kitchen.
2) Do one load of laundry each day. From start to finish, which means folding and putting away.
3) Plan with Matthew his birthday party with his friends.
4) Make the invitations.
5) Change the picture display in the dining room. (It still has SNOW and winter pictures on it.)
6) Finish reading "My So Called Life As A Proverbs 31 Wife."
Well, I can already say I have checked #6 off my list. I couldn't find one of our two kittens last night, so while I was waiting for him to come out, I finished reading the book. Between waiting for the kitten, my two year old waking up around 1:30 a.m. and then the kittens coming to play on top of me at 5:30 in the morning, it was a short night. Still, I could get the laundry and the dishes done. That seemed bare minimum to me.
Somehow, all my plans seem great when I'm starting them the next day or I make plans in the morning. Coming home around 6:00 from work, not eating dinner until 7:00 and then finally getting both boys to bed at 8:30, sure does change how motivated I feel.
I whined to my husband that I was tired and still needed to do the dishes. He told me that he would just work on them tomorrow. I know how his day looks tomorrow. Even though he doesn't have to go into work, he does have errands to run... with the boys. I really need to do the dishes.
Setting the timer for 15 minutes should give me long enough to at least get the dishwasher loaded and going. As I alternated between loading the dishwasher and washing the bigger dishes by hand, I thought how blessed I was to have a dishwasher. This got me to thinking back to a conversation I had with friends about people who lived in the 1800's, the period of time that the book "Little House on the Prairie" was set in. They had to wash all their dishes by hand and with no running water. All the modern day conveniences we have. Washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, mini vans, computers, cell phones... the list could go forever.
Yet, I'm sure they weren't running off to work in the morning, dropping their children off at daycare and then trying to cram everything into the two hours they had together before the children had to go back to bed. They had to plan out their trips into town and only made monthly or quarterly trips. No driving to the store to pick up a few things you forgot and needed to complete that nights meal. Back in their time, people wrote each other letters and dropped in for coffee. No facebook, texting, cell phones, or blogging.
I know that in any century, women feel overwhelmed and have much on their plate. I just think that maybe, just maybe, doing all those things the hard way wasn't so bad. I kinda think their plate looks pretty.
Not wanting to overwhelm myself while I am still adjusting to working a full time job, I'm going to start small. Here are my goals for this week:
1) Go to bed each night with a clean kitchen.
2) Do one load of laundry each day. From start to finish, which means folding and putting away.
3) Plan with Matthew his birthday party with his friends.
4) Make the invitations.
5) Change the picture display in the dining room. (It still has SNOW and winter pictures on it.)
6) Finish reading "My So Called Life As A Proverbs 31 Wife."
Well, I can already say I have checked #6 off my list. I couldn't find one of our two kittens last night, so while I was waiting for him to come out, I finished reading the book. Between waiting for the kitten, my two year old waking up around 1:30 a.m. and then the kittens coming to play on top of me at 5:30 in the morning, it was a short night. Still, I could get the laundry and the dishes done. That seemed bare minimum to me.
Somehow, all my plans seem great when I'm starting them the next day or I make plans in the morning. Coming home around 6:00 from work, not eating dinner until 7:00 and then finally getting both boys to bed at 8:30, sure does change how motivated I feel.
I whined to my husband that I was tired and still needed to do the dishes. He told me that he would just work on them tomorrow. I know how his day looks tomorrow. Even though he doesn't have to go into work, he does have errands to run... with the boys. I really need to do the dishes.
Setting the timer for 15 minutes should give me long enough to at least get the dishwasher loaded and going. As I alternated between loading the dishwasher and washing the bigger dishes by hand, I thought how blessed I was to have a dishwasher. This got me to thinking back to a conversation I had with friends about people who lived in the 1800's, the period of time that the book "Little House on the Prairie" was set in. They had to wash all their dishes by hand and with no running water. All the modern day conveniences we have. Washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, mini vans, computers, cell phones... the list could go forever.
Yet, I'm sure they weren't running off to work in the morning, dropping their children off at daycare and then trying to cram everything into the two hours they had together before the children had to go back to bed. They had to plan out their trips into town and only made monthly or quarterly trips. No driving to the store to pick up a few things you forgot and needed to complete that nights meal. Back in their time, people wrote each other letters and dropped in for coffee. No facebook, texting, cell phones, or blogging.
I know that in any century, women feel overwhelmed and have much on their plate. I just think that maybe, just maybe, doing all those things the hard way wasn't so bad. I kinda think their plate looks pretty.
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