Singing Brings Me Joy, Part 2

There I was, praying for more opportunities to sing. 

Nothing changed.  (Talk about wanting instant gratification.)

Months passed and my prayer was forgotten.  My new prayer was that God would help me to be satisfied with what I had and to help me do my best.

It was a Friday when I received an e-mail that the local minor league baseball team was holding auditions for people to sing the National Anthem before the games that season.  For a moment, just a moment, I thought "I could do that."  Then I remembered that horrible feeling in my stomach that I would get before doing it.  I deleted the e-mail.

The next day, my husband forwarded me the e-mail.  In it, he said "You should do this."

Let me tell you about my husband.  With me, he is the most flexible, easy going, go with the flow kind of guy.  He just doesn't really express an opinion with me and what I want to do.  Until this.  Now this e-mail had my attention. Then I remembered that quiet prayer for more opportunities to sing.  It certainly didn't fit inside my neat little box but I'm not going to be trying to keep God confined.  Like I could...

Long story short, I auditioned and they asked me to sing!  Tons of my family came and my husband was there recording the whole thing.  If any of our family or friends missed it, all they have to do is tell my husband.  He'll have the video pulled up in about 2 seconds.  I love him and I love knowing that he is proud of me.  :-)

Here is a link to the video...

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200466854612202


Since singing at the South Bend Silver Hawks game...

-My husband won't stop playing that video for people.

-The Worship Team Leader asked me to help out and lead the worship the week he's gone.  It's coming up in a couple of weeks and I'm praying that God's presence will be there and the joy and Presence I feel through music will be attractively obvious.

-A local parks and recreation department has asked me to come and sing with some children during an event they're having for children with developmental delays and disabilities.

-A woman I knew a long time ago asked me to come to their church in August and sing a special for them.

God is in control and I'm going to do my very best to enjoy what He has planned.

Singing Brings Me Joy, Part 1

I love singing and I love beautiful music.  It speaks to my spirit.  There are times when I feel closest to God through music.

 

I started singing in front of people when I was two years old.  My mother always told the story about how she, my sister and I were in front of the congregation singing, when she noticed that people were chuckling.  Unable to figure what was going on, she looked down at me.  I had lifted up my skirt and was doing a saloon girl dance.  In church. 

 

I don't do that anymore.  At least not in front of other people.

 

We sang together as a family until I was 27 and my mom passed away from cancer.  I tried singing a solo at our small country church but couldn't even remember the words.  I went back to what I was comfortable with.  Singing with my children, singing with my students and singing in the shower.

 

Fast forward a few years...

 

My husband and I began attending a larger church.  At first I was satisfied with just going to church and leaving without having to help or spend any other time there.  My ministry is in the home and I didn't think there room for anything else.

 

About 5 months after we began attending this church, they had a "Volunteer Sunday."  On Volunteer Sunday, people walk around and talk to the various kinds of ministry within the church and sign up to help if they feel lead to.  I, however, wasn't feeling lead, but I was feeling lonely.  Volunteering would be a good way to meet people and maybe begin to build friendships within our new church family.  It made sense to me and so one of the things I signed up for was to be a part of the worship team.

 

It took some time and some healing but I grew to love being a part of the worship team!  I loved it so much that I prayed God would give me more opportunities to sing.  Let's just say that I should be careful what I pray for...

 

 or at least more specific.

Weekly Goals: 6-17-13

Here are my goals from last week and how I did...

1) Have my husband help me clean the kitchen each night.  If I spend my evening with the boys and do most of the bed time routines, he gets to clean the kitchen.  Check.  My husband was awesome and yea me for respectfully communicating with him.

2)  Do one load of laundry every day.  50/50.  I did great at doing the laundry but I got a little distracted and it took me a while to put things away.

3) Make the birthday party invitations.  Umm... they are still sitting on the buffet in the dining room.

 4) Get up 30 minutes earlier than usual.  This leaves time to do my devotion and makes leaving more relaxed.  If you can picture a chicken with it's head cut off, running around and terribly grumpy, you have gotten a glimpse of my mornings.  Check!  Things go so much smoother this way.  I have got to get to bed earlier because burning the candles at both ends makes one (easily) stressed out mommy by the end of the day.

5) Get Liam up 30 minutes before we have to leave in the morning so he has an easier time transitioning.  (I did this today and we had a temper tantrum free morning.)  Check!  Note to self, one child can roll out of bed and be ready to go in under a minute. (Matt)  The other one needs a half an hour.  (Liam)

6) Read 3 Chapters of "The Ministry of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson.  I only read one chapter.  I'm having a hard time getting into the book right now.  I'll set it aside and try a different one.

GOALS FOR THE WEEK OF 6-17-2013

1)  Laugh more and find joy in the little things.

2) Make the birthday party invites.

3)  Find a new book to read.

4)  Clean kitchen at night (hubby or I) and one load of laundry a day.

5)  Go to bed by 9:30.

Joy Comes In the Morning

While I got ready for bed, I had a thought.  I need to stop taking everything so seriously and laugh at myself more. 

A dream woke me at 4:30 this morning.  In the dream, we were at our church waiting to get our picture taken for the church directory.  Our name was called and I walked right by a friend who was trying to say hello to me.  I was so engrossed in my own world that I didn't even notice her.  The dream bothered me because it's something that's happened to me.

Later in the morning, I pulled out the devotion for that day.  (It's actually the one dated for 6/17 but it's the one that came up when I turned on my kindle.)  The first sentence of the devotion was "Learn to laugh at yourself more freely."  Whoa.  I think God is trying to tell me something.

I'm trying to control things... pretty much everything.  I'm not putting my trust in God and allowing Him to take control of my life.  I thought I was, but I'm not. I'm a work in progress and it's time to lighten up!

Reconnecting...

It's been a busy and full three weeks of work.  We have been on the go all but one day.  I sat down to reflect on the past week and decided that we just needed a day at home. 

- Matthew seems to be adjusting well to the new routine, he's always been very flexible.  We talk about what's going on and how he's feeling, and we search for the good. 

- Although Liam is in a fabulous mood when I get home from work, the morning transition at the daycare is getting harder.  This makes the start of my day an emotional train wreck.  His wonderful child care provider said "the honeymoon period is over."

- My husband seems to be doing good.  His life doesn't alter too much when I go back to work, just additional child care, picking children up, more household responsibilities... Well, maybe his life does alter a lot but he's been doing great.  Kind of like my rock to grab on to in sinking sand.

- I've been struggling this week with missing the boys, missing the pace of being a stay at home mom, missing my friends, and feeling just not good enough at what I am trying to do.
 

We're all just going to regroup, relax and reconnect.

A Woman Who Fears the Lord #3

The Woman Who Fears the Lord

A Study of Proverbs 31

Verse 12

"She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."

 

I never intend to do my husband harm.  Who would?  But, I know I have.  Reading this verse and thinking over the past twelve years... the past week... I feel like I should start a support group for women who mess up being a Proverbs 31 wife.  I think I could get a lot of members.

 

There's this thing that I do. (I'm only picking one.)  I speak to my husband like he's a two year old.  It may be because I have taught young children for most of my life.  It may be because I am a mom.  Or, it may be a way that I protect myself from blowing my stack.   It doesn't really matter why, it is just not okay to do.

When we discussed that specific thing during marriage counseling a few years back, I realized it made my husband feel stupid.  (Aka, it did him harm, and not good, for many days of my life.)  My job is to be my husband's helpmate, to build him up and to help him in whatever way he needs to become the man, the husband and the father God wants him to be.
 

I would love to say I no longer cause him harm but that would be a lie. 

 (Let's not add to the things I need to work on here.)

 

When I mess up, a sincere apology is made, forgiveness is requested and a Christ like spirit and attitude is sought after.

 

  God handles things so much better than I ever could. 

 

I'll just keep trying and let Him take care of everything...

My husband, our marriage and me.

 

 

The link to the series "The Woman Who Fears the Lord"

Discussing the Birds and the Frogs

We currently live on a very quiet road.  The kind of road where you can walk on the road without seeing any cars at all. 

This evening, my husband, our two sons and I enjoyed a leisurely stroll together.  The boys and I hunted for caterpillars on the milkweed that grows on the side of the road and we observed two birds trying to chase off a hawk. 

As we walked, Matthew told me about how there had been a daddy frog calling all the women frogs at his Aunt's house.  "Come here ladies, is what the frog said."  I asked why the daddy frog was calling the lady frogs.  "So they could lay their eggs in the water."

 

We stopped to listen to a red winged black bird who was calling out.  Matthew wondered out loud what the bird was saying.  I said that it would be interesting to know what the daddy bird was saying and Matthew informed me that it wasn't a daddy bird, it was mommy bird.  "The mommy bird is telling the daddy bird that it's time for dinner."

Someday we'll have to talk about the birds and the bees.  For now, we'll just talk about the birds and the frogs.