Letting Go Of Perfection. Pursuing my mission to be a submissive wife.

 "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord."
Colossians 3:18

Wow.  I just used the S word.  Submit.

It's scary to turn over the authority to my husband.  We spent the first nine years of marriage living our own lives.  There wasn't a lot of communication, discussion, or feedback.  As he struggled with depression, I made most of the decisions.

Things made a dramatic turn for the better just over three years ago.  Although I'm not sure what the exact trigger was, I know I can give God the credit for taking us to that point and the progress we have both made since.


I want a great marriage.

 I want it for our children.  I want it for my husband.  I want it for myself.

Most of all, I know God wants it.  

So, how do I get a great marriage?

Here are some things I tried in the first nine years of marriage.

1. Make a list of all the things we need to do to make our marriage stronger.  Provide my husband with a laminated copy.
2. Drag my unwilling husband to a marriage retreat.  Have a miserable time and then be grumpy about it.
3. Talk to anyone who will listen about how awful things are.  Ask for their advice.
4. Read every single marriage book out there and "suggest" that my husband read them as well.
5. Talk until I am blue in the face in the hopes that he will finally understand what I am saying.

Needless to say, these things did not improve our situation.  In fact, I'm positive they made things worse.

In order to journey towards a great marriage, I have to allow God to change me.

I pray for my husband as a man of God, as a husband and as a father.

I pray that I will be the wife that God wants me to be.  The wife my husband most needs.

I try to soften my spirit when it comes to our relationship.

I try to speak lovingly and respectfully about him at all times.

I try to speak respectfully to him and apologize when I realize I haven't.

I look for ways to serve him.

I attempt to be submissive.

I do not allow our children to speak ill of their father.

I watch my own words around my children when I am upset about something.

I seek forgiveness for my mistakes.

I ask for my husband's advice on things that I would normally not even think twice about.

I let my husband make some pretty big decisions.



I demand perfection from myself and it's hard to give myself grace as I stumble and fall.   As I challenge myself to be the woman, wife and mother that God wants me to be, I am learning to let go of this crazy notion that I can do it perfect.

I just need to let go, enjoy the journey and leave the rest to God.